I’m not used to sitting in front of a camera… I hate it. I’m also not used to being the object that is doing the talking and moving and I wonder if it would have actually easier and faster to make a 3d version of myself and pair it with dialogue… but that would be cheating. Outside the computer, I have no outside social life (nor do I really want one) and it was somewhat startling to see just how lifeless and devoid of body language and facial expression I was in the earlier takes. All I know is that i’ve done dozens upon dozens of takes to try to not sound dumb or become a stuttering mess half-way through. I didn’t want to cut and edit the hell out of the video either, so the takes were done in long blocks of recording. I’ve always been a slow thinker, but the invention of the internet allows me to really concentrate on how I communicate and interpret data on my own terms and my own time… I can really, deeply think about what I say when I respond or talk to someone instead of just coasting through a conversation and not being able to understand what a person is saying. This is why I hesitate to do things like audio chat and similar real-time stuff because my mind doesn’t really operate in real time… few people understand this. I don’t believe i’ve ever won an argument in my life because of this.

I hope through the ~2-4 hours of outtakes that I’ll be able to find the clips that convey the message I want to say the best without making an embarrassment of myself. This may very well be the last time I appear in front of a camera… it was exhausting and I can still see the burned image of that lightbulb in my retina (I set up a lamp-light to  point at me to compensate for the room’s poor lighting). I don’t know how people like actors and other individuals who appear in front of a camera do it. I’m not afraid to stand in front of an audience or talk to people… it’s just something I prefer not to do.

Anyways, angst emo talk aside, I still have misc footage and screen capturing to do, but since I have two major college assignments due next week combined with thanksgiving weekend (I hate holidays… all of them) I think that’s going to hold production back during that time. We’ll see what happens!